When Brenden Dillon sees his two-year-old daughter Elton learning how to express herself, he’s reminded of something important to him.

“Communication,” Dillon, 33, said. “I’ve got a young daughter; I see her putting together words and learning how to talk. It’s not like you sit there with a book and say ‘Here’s how you communicate’. She’s picking things up.”

They may not be conversational sentences yet, but it’s giving Dillon more of a glimpse into the personality Elton is becoming and he’s experiencing it all with eager eyes. There’s something about communication, about language, that has always intrigued him. And language can be built on many different facets.

“I think just the different cultures of the world are so interesting,” Dillon said, asked about his intrigue.

Perhaps it all started as a kid. He grew up with a Portuguese nanny; she, her husband, and her son, all spoke Portuguese at home. Dillon would be dropped off at their home while his mother, a schoolteacher, and father, a pharmacologist, both went to work. He’d be immersed in their language all day long.

“She was full Portuguese, from Portugal,” he began to explain. “Her husband was Portuguese, her son – so all day long it was Portuguese. I have some memories of it, probably from about zero to six years old.”

That may have been where his fascination for language may have started. And it’s turned into a deep appreciation for the different cultures of our world and how we communicate with one another.

A deep dive into what lies beneath his appreciation for languages allows you to understand why he is a steward of any locker room. It’s part of how he thrives as a leader. He wants to know and understand the rooms he’s a part of.

And to understand, you’ve got to get to know.

You’ve got to figure out how to speak the same language.

No, not language in the literal sense. The language of a locker room far beyond words and how we pronounce them. Language is about learning how you’re going to communicate with those around you, particularly when at first glance your commonalities may not be so obvious. And in a hockey locker room, where players arrive from all corners of the world, the different cultures that congregate in an NHL locker room is where it all begins.

“I always found it cool to be able to relate,” Dillon says, particularly of teammates who come from different parts of the world. “It’s hard, I put myself in their shoes – a lot of these guys come over at 19, 20 years old, you’re drafted, or you’re starting pro in North America where you don’t understand a lick of English. So how could I possibly be helping people somewhere, if you don’t know it. So, I feel like that’s kind of my first thing is trying to look up, like, ‘hello’ in Swedish.”

So, Dillon takes the extra time to put in the work. He wants to know his teammates for who they are. You have to get to know each one of your teammates as individuals to find a common language. And it may not be the same for everyone.

“It’s appreciating the differences,” Dillon said. “It’s a ‘how can you help me, help you’, kind of thing. Because if I can relate to you and know that you maybe you really like soccer, maybe I like soccer too. Or maybe we can communicate about politics. Whether you grew up in Austria or you grew up in Canada, we have siblings, we all watch sports, so it’s finding things you can relate to, and then from there, you branch out.”

It takes work and time. But it’s worth investing in.

“You’ve got a mixed bag,” Dillon offered of his new locker room in New Jersey. “You’ve got your Swiss mafia here, you’ve got your Finnish crew there, you’ve got your Swedish House… When you look at a hockey locker room and just the different teammates you play with over the years you get really close with some of them from different backgrounds, and they hop on the phone with their parents for 10 minutes, and you’re hearing all these languages, I always found it cool.”

That thirst for knowledge, that quest in getting to understand where there are similarities and also differences, is what makes Dillon a leader any coaching staff can stitch an ‘A’ on his jersey, right off the bat. He embodies, among other things, two of the main pillars for excellent leadership. He focuses on building relationships and he has an authentic sense of self. When you speak with him, you can recognize it right away.

His curiosity to get to know people is genuine. He speaks with purpose and his words carry meaning. He understands the power the right type of communication holds.

That’s why a trip to start the season in Prague was a truly important way for this club to start their season, he says. Dillon is among many new faces to the club this season and the added quality time provided the team with time they may not otherwise have had.

“You can almost say that it was priceless,” he said. “It was the most invaluable time.”

“The best teams that I’ve been on haven’t necessarily been the most talented, but it’s been where everyone’s felt comfortable, where everyone is a big part of the team and when you feel that way, or you at least feel that other people are trying to relate to you, it goes a long way.”

Every bit of communication in a locker room, where you’re spending 300-plus days with the same people, day in, day out is essential to long-term success.

“Getting to know your teammates and how they react to situations, there are certain guys that maybe they react well to the yelling or screaming,” he said. “As teammates, there’s other guys where you kind of maybe need more of a softer side approach. I know for myself, I react differently to ways people approach me and in all, you just want to have that person or teammate, D-partner, winger, know that you care and that it’s coming from a good place.”

“I think specifically for me and my teammates, the age gaps, different situations in our NHL careers, it was, whether you’re talking about fantasy football that morning, or you’re talking about how the family is doing back home, it was just an awesome trip, you couldn’t have scripted it any better.”

But that’s the thing about a hockey season. It’s not scripted, teams have to write it for themselves.

And if you’re going to write a great story, your character – your teammates – have to have a connection, where everyone is pulling on the same rope, in the same direction. And that starts with creating a connection, whatever that may look like.

Everyone has to be on the same page.

No translations necessary.